First Taiwan and then the world!: December 2013

It's a weird thing, depression that is. It can just come and go with little or no notice, messing up every aspect of your life and then one day you feel great and don't really know what the fuss was all about.

I just need to write this, so bear with me and I'll get back to happy travel updates later one and even this update will have some food pics in the end.
It's a really weird thing when you see the whole world as some bleak, unhappy place that's just there to annoy you and make you feel bad, so that you don't even notice that it's not really like that and you are getting angry for nothing at all. Annoying all your friends around, not keeping up with any contacts and then just starting to feel worse and worse about school, because you seem to keep failing and being able to finish things in time, because you feel bad, causing you to feel even worse.

Kinda annoying that you start feeling numb to all these bad feelings after a while and accept that they just are there and don't notice them any more, just trying to get through, living, but not really enjoying things you used to enjoy and just covering everything with a smile. Video games for example, have been something I've enjoyed always and the only exceptions being when I've been sick, so I haven't really had much motivation to even play a game and just feeling bored and tired when doing so. This lack of motivation then translates even more heavily into studies, social relations and just general well-being. Feeling sick to the point that you actually feel physically ill and don't know what is happening any more, just having upset stomach, trouble sleeping and constant headaches.

Today really has been the first day for a long time now that I'm feeling genuinely happy and content with the day, just waking up, not worrying about anything, just taking everything easy, being able to talk to people and seeing everything normally for a change. Sure my stomach is still upset, feeling really anxious being the biggest reason, but I don't feel annoyed, angry or otherwise unhappy for a change.

I'm sorry for all the problems I've caused my friends for not really helping out and being seemingly lazy when it comes to doing homework and projects and such. I do think that, I'll get everything done better and actually done as time goes on and I'm coping better with everything, but it will also take some time.

I haven't been really able to plan any trips in Taiwan by myself and I'm little bit angry at myself for this, but hopefully I'll get myself together for couple of hours again this day or tomorrow to visit at least Alishan forest railway and the places around there, maybe Sun moon lake and such.
Even, if I don't visit all the place I would like now, it's not like I can't come back to Taiwan one day in the future. I'm sure there are some people who aren't annoyed at me and would help me out.

So yeah, now I just have to get through the courses here and then see what courses I can choose for my studies in Finland, when I'll come back in January few weeks after the start of the year.

And then after all that depressing stuff some food!